Hello, world! 6 years later and I am back to say hey.
Sometimes you run off for a while in search of bigger, better things only to come back to the good old faithful blog many years later.
The only thing that has visibly changed in all these years is that I'm now a mom to two wonderful little ladies. I still live in the same house, have the same job, and go to the same church. The biggest changes in my life have happened beneath the surface, in my heart and mind, through situations and experiences that have torn me down and built me back up.
Life is weird like that; we can interact with people all the time and still not have a clue about the war going on inside of them. It's comforting but also unsettling. When you're the one facing an inner battle you can choose to just let safe and helpful people in to walk along side you, but you can also be completely oblivious to someone else's silent struggle.
If you can identify with that, just know that it's okay. Not everyone needs to know what you're going through. (It's okay to disappear for a while and you don't have to explain why.) You may have to let go of and grieve the loss of your dreams. But let the death of your old dreams be the fertilizer that will cultivate the growth of new, better dreams.
The hard times won't last forever and someday you'll be able to look back and see the abundant harvest of character and wisdom that you gained through it. And not be mad about it.
Life is both complicated and wonderful and the only thing that makes sense sometimes is to say that we weren't meant to understand all the whys and what ifs of life. Sometimes it just is what it is but for sure everything we face is meant to draw us closer to God and make us more useful for His kingdom and His purpose.
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